Archive for February, 2008
Details of the restraining order against Sam Lutmcgyver have surfaced and it paints a pretty ugly picture of what’s been going down with Britney. Lynne Spears provided most of the information in the document and it contains allegations that Sam was drugging Britney. TMZ reports:
At one point Britney “picked up a bottle of pills and read part of the label and asked us, ‘What does insomnia mean?’ Sam told her that the pills will help her stay awake.” Lynne continues, “Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney’s pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdal (an anti-psychotic drug for schizophrenia and bipolarity) and Seroquel.” The docs continue, “He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could then give her drugs to heal her brain.”
After downing the pills, Sam then tried to get Britney to do shots of tequila. He also told Britney that Adnan is gay and later threatened Lynne:
Lynne claims before leaving for the drug store that night, Sam gave her drugs upstairs “to make her more light-hearted, happy, and fun.”
During a dispute later that night, Sam allegedly said, “If you try to get rid of me, she’ll be dead and I’ll piss on her grave.”
Brit said, “Can I see another psychiatrist so I can see my babies?” Sam responded, “If I told you to take 10 pills a day, you should do what I tell you to see your babies.”
This explains so much. First, and most importantly, yes, Sam Lutfi indeed has an unhealthy obsession with urinating on the dead thus validating all my jokes. Second, this could mean that Britney is not bipolar after all. She’s just been on the longest drug binge of her life. You know, not counting her years in the Mickey Mouse Club. Back then it was all about Barbie dolls and pure Colombian snow. I heard Britney mugged a seven dwarf for coke money. Of course, you didn’t read about that one in the papers. And not because I made it up.
Paris Hilton’s acting career seems to persevere against all odds as she announced she’s starring in an upcoming episode of Showtime’s lesbian drama The L Word. Us Magazine reports:
“Once the strike is over, we are going to start talks, but I am definitely shooting it,” she told Usmagazine.com at the L.A. premiere of her comedy, The Hottie and the Nottie.
So will she play gay for pay?
“I don’t know yet,” she said.
Possible episode titles:
“Lunch at the Crusty Y”
Wait. One second. *vomits* Okay, you know what? Scratch that list. Seriously, I need to think before I blog. Hey, there’s my car keys…
Adnan Ghalib visited Britney Spears in the hospital yesterday for about 20 minutes. He apparently was really sad when he left. Presumably since his gravy train is on lockdown. However, initial reports said Lynne Spears kicked Adnan out, but now OK! Magazine is saying that Lynne and Adnan are getting along:
Many had speculated that Lynne had taken to Adnan in the days leading up to Britney’s hospitalization, especially when the two rode together to the hospital last week while his archenemy Sam Lutfi and Brit’s cousin, Alli Sims, were left to ride in their own cars.
Holy crap! She is trying to steal Adnan! Britney was right. My God, what else could she have been right about? Maybe endangering your children is the secret to life. Quick, somebody let me borrow their kids. I’ll give them right back. I promise. I just want to erratically drive up and down the freeway with them in the backseat. They’ll be totally safe. My car is so full of empty liquor bottles there’s hardly any room to bounce around. Just ask my date last night. Ha ha! But, no, seriously, she’s still back there. I stop searching on my lunch break.
Despite being the star of HBO’s Entourage, Kevin Connolly had trouble scoring bottom rung MTV reality stars at Playboy’s Super Saturday Night party. His first target was Audrina Patridge. It was a crash and burn, according to NY Daily News:
After being denied a date, he offered to make the “Hills” star dinner at her apartment - and got another “no.”
Not letting rejection stand in his way, Kevin made his way to Kristin Cavallari. The two seemed to hit it off, until something better came along. Page Six reports:
“She was all over Kevin until she saw Brody Jenner walk in,” our spy said. “She dumped Kevin for Brody and started kissing him before she went to find photographers to take pictures of them. It was all a ploy to make [her nemesis] Lauren Conrad jealous.”
Adding insult to injury, Page Six says Kevin Dillon (aka Johnny Drama) scored a bunch of girls at the same party in the VIP room. Ha! And he’s practically 50. Poor Kevin Connolly. Wait, who is he again? He played one of the Hobbits, right? Not the super-gay one. But the medium-gay one. I want to say his name was Jimmy, I dunno. I could never make it through those movies. Why waste three hours when I could be doing something more productive? Like playing Warcraft in my boxers.
Mariah Carey, despite a tremendous effort in Glitter, somehow managed to score a role in the upcoming film Tennessee. But when the producers wanted to ugly her up for the part, Mariah decided to let them know no one mucks up Mimi. NY Daily News reports:
Carey plays a Southern waitress who sets off with two brothers in search of their father. While she consented to cornrows, she passed on the fake nose and bushy eyebrows that had been conceived for the part.
“When she saw the nose, she called her people and decided against it,” says the source.
If Mariah Carey is cast as Chewbacca, she should just smile, put on the Wookie suit and be happy someone remembered who the hell she is. I mean, she was unveiling stamps in the fall for God’s sake. Then she made a perfume that smells like S’mores. At this point, I was convinced Mariah’s next move was to design purses made of cat food.
Sam Luffernutter isn’t sweating the latest restraining order that Britney’s dad leveled against him. In fact, he shared his thoughts with Us Magazine and, as are his ways, got all over-dramatic about it:
“It won’t last,” he told Usmagazine.com shortly after yesterday’s hearing, during which a court ordered Britney Spears to have no further contact — direct or indirect — with him.
Of Spears parents, Jamie and Lynne, Lutfi added, “They’re never gonna be able to rule her forever.”
And, yay, did Sam of Lufmalutti verily ride his steed into yonder distance and proclaim his devotion to vanquish the elder Spears’ rule and free his fair maiden. Henceforth did The Superficial Writer cease caring and forged a sandwich. And it was of righteous ham and mustard creating a thirst for ale which he drank mightily until a dragon reared his fiery head and request to be drained. But, woe, was The Superficial Writer not ready to break yon seal. Lamentations!
R&B singer Brandy’s mom Sonja Norwood claims that she gave her credit card to Kim Kardashian so she could make “one (and only one)” purchase. Kim was Brandy’s stylist at the time. However, according to Sonja, Kim went crazy with the card then let her family take it for a spin. TMZ reports:
According to the suit, Kim allegedly gave the card to other members of her family — Khloe, Kourtney and Robert Jr. The suit claims in 2006, the Ks racked up $62,793.83 in unauthorized charges. And, in 2007, they blew another $57,841.82. The total: $120,635.65!
And get this for audacity: the suit claims the Kardashians charged thousands of dollars in their own stores, Dash and Smooch.
It’s unclear why Sonja didn’t just cancel the card.
So the Kardashians had the card in 2006 and 2007, but Sonja didn’t cancel it? That makes total sense. Whenever my credit card gets stolen by strippers (God, they’re crafty.), I always sit around for a year or two before I cancel it. Mostly because they threaten to come to my house and rip up my comic books. I really need to stop wearing my Spider-man pajamas to the nudie bar…
Britney Spears’ father Jamie won a decisive court battle yesterday and will remain the conservatorship over Britney’s affairs until February 14. Attorney Adam Streisand (Barbara’s cousin. Seriously.) was hired by Britney to contest the conservatorship, but it was determined that Britney is essentially too crazy to know what’s going on, according to People:
A court-appointed lawyer for Britney Spears, Samuel Ingham, was also present, and testified that he met with her at the hospital Sunday for 15 minutes.
He added that in his opinion the pop star “does not understand the nature of these proceedings” or their impact on her future. He added, “I think she lacks the capacity” to hire a private lawyer.
Jamie Spears then revealed that Sam Flufluftfi (sp?) refused to open his door when the court tried to serve him papers:
By the hearing’s end, the court ordered Spears to have no contact, direct or indirect, by phone, email, text message or any other means with Lutfi, a court spokesman said, and an attempt to serve Lutfi with a revised restraining order would occur.
So it’s what? February 2008? And people are just now coming to the conclusion that Britney Spears has no freaking clue what she’s doing? Amazing. I could’ve told you years ago that Britney would sign any legal document in the world in exchange for a pony. Granted it was life-sized and made of chocolate. Throw in a soft nougaty center, and I’m pretty sure she’d give you a kidney. If not both.
Nozomi Sasaki was born on 8 February 1988 in Kurashiki City, Okayama prefecture, Japan. This cute babe began modeling for Teen magazines in Japan and is often seen in popular magazines like Pinky.
Anyone’s got more information on this adorable model?
Legend has it Paris Hilton tried to dance onstage during a 50 Cent performance over Super Bowl weekend. 50 wasn’t having none of that and swore at Paris until she presumably got her bitch-ass off the stage. Why just words, 50? Was nobody in your crew packing that evening? I, for one, wouldn’t think less of you if say, I dunno, somebody put a bullet in old wonk-eyed. In fact, I might call you “brother.” And from another mother even.
NOTE: Photo of P-Burny crying from the verbal assault here.
Video after the jump. 50 lays the smackdown right at the beginning. Thanks to Jewel. You’re no wanksta.
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