Pamela Anderson is booked to perform at Le Crazy Horse cabaret club in Paris on Valentine’s Day. Owner Andree Diessenberg asked Pamela to perform after seeing her in Vegas with magician Hans Klok. Le Crazy Horse is also heroically non-pasties or g-strings, according to The Sun:
After opening in 1952, it quickly became known as the ‘Temple of Nudity’ because of its full-stripping policy.
Pamela is said to be ‘in discussions’ about whether or not she will abide by the rules and appear fully nude in the finale.
It’s no secret that I think strippers should be an integral part of any special occasion. Birthdays, yacht christenings, baby showers, you name it. I mean, you should’ve seen the tears in my parents’ eyes when I booked a stripper for their 30th anniversary. Yeah, she stole my grandmother’s china and gave my Uncle Frank a heart attack, but, deep down, I think everyone left with cherished memories. And maybe a touch of the clap. Still waiting on the lab report.
Victoria Beckham revealed her decision to quit The Spice Girls yesterday. In an exclusive interview with News of the World (Larry King must’ve been busy) Posh Spice lays out her decision to get off the “Girl Power” train:
“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I’m not in the music industry any more. I’m in the fashion industry.
“I’m putting together a team of people now so it will be my main project when I finish this tour in a month.
“It’s the last opportunity there will be to see the Spice Girls together.”
I guess having your chest groped by Melanie Brown isn’t as glamorous as it looks. Well, good luck to Victoria Beckham. With her keen fashion sense, Victoria’s set to corner the market of clothing specifically tailored for Ethiopians with breast implants.
Britney Spears’ grandfather June Austin Spears spoke to NY Daily News about Jamie Lynn and how her mother Lynne is handling the situation – which is poorly:
“Lynne keeps Jamie Lynn hidden,” June, 77, told us, referring to Britney’s mom and her knocked-up li’l sis.
“[Lynne is] in denial about the pregnancy. She thinks it’s just going to go away, but it’s not. It’s going to get bigger and bigger.”
Then, being the true Southern gentleman, June said he’d never vote for Barack Obama (I wonder why?) and talked about his love for guns:
We asked Grandpa Spears what he thought of Sen. Barack Obama, and let’s just say, ahem, his views are consistent with many white Southern gentlemen of his generation. Moving swiftly on!
“I don’t have a gun permit. I keep it under the front seat of my truck,” he told us. And what about those rumors that he’s shot at a few reporters?
There was an ominous silence. “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t.”
Ha! Racist old men with guns are adorable. I don’t care what anyone says. That shit is precious. I mean, just because they’re senile doesn’t mean they’ll randomly open fire. Wait, it does? Yikes. Okay, everyone stay calm. I may have kind of given my grandfather a .38 to play with while he walked to the drug store. My bad. We ran out of prune juice. He was feeling kind of down. I thought it might cheer him up. Which it did, but only after he shot my “sumbitch Jap car.” The joke’s on him though. I drive a Powers Wheels.
This is the music video for Heidi Montag’s single “Higher.” Obviously there was no budget for this thing and it was shot by her boyfriend Spencer Pratt. It’s basically, and brilliantly, Heidi running around on the beach with her fake monster breasts in a bikini. As for the song itself, imagine having a wombat screech in your ear for three straight minutes. It’s sort of like that but less rewarding. However, with the audio off, this is by far the greatest music video I’ve seen in the last 20 years. Suck it, November Rain. You just got owned.
Amy Winehouse recently lent her efforts to preserve The George Tavern a historic pub in London. Apparently an apartment development is planned that would ruin the bar’s 360-degree natural light. When approached by landlady Pauline Forster, Amy came up with the idea to sell T-shirts that say “Save The George.” She hasn’t been able to help lately since, well, she’s in rehab. That sort of puts a damper on the ol’ drinking. People reports:
“She’s not well, so nobody’s allowed to contact her,” Forster said. “I spoke to her on the phone twice before she went into rehab, and I’ve spoken to her father a couple of times. He told me I could write her a letter, so I sent a handwritten one and popped a t-shirt in the post.”
You know what’s always a smart move? And, really, you can’t miss with this one: Sending an alcohol-related T-shirt to a friend in rehab. I bet there was a card inside that reads: “Hope to see you soon! Drinks on me!” That’s just good manners.
NOTE: These are pictures of Amy taking a walk this morning outside of her rehab facility. She actually looks decrackified. That being said, how cold is it in England right now? I’m pretty much convinced Amy Winehouse would wear a mini-skirt while dog-sledding through the Antarctic.
UPDATE: During Amy’s walk she apparently renewed her visa because, according to Us Magazine, she’s going to the Grammys! Now we’ll get to see what a drug-free Amy Winehouse performance looks like. Will we understand her lyrics and what sober items will she pull out of her beehive? I’ve got my fingers crossed for a Gameboy.
Britney Spears’ hospital stay has been extended to 14 days due to the severity of her condition. In the meantime, Britney’s lawyers at Trope and Trope are going to court today to contest the conservatorship that was granted to Britney’s father Jamie and lawyer Andrew Wallet. They’re basing their argument on the fact that Britney doesn’t trust her father and has animosity towards him. Us Magazine reports:
But an insider tells Usmagazine.com that it may be an uphill battle for Trope “because what child does get along with their parents when they are locked in the psych ward?”
Adds the source, “It’s going to be hard to convince the court that Britney can be taken seriously given the state that she’s in.”
Interestingly enough, Britney’s dad has the power to fire Britney’s lawyers which is kind of a kickass way to win a court battle. Or he could just swing across the courtroom with a knife in his teeth and kick the judge in the face. That’s actually a valid legal defense. I think I saw Matlock do it once.
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